Don't be confused by the title. This is actually kinda funny, in a morbid kind of way. See, I'm sitting here at school, chilling with my bro (Eye-Patch) before we have to go to our Intro to Theatre class, and suddenly, out of the blue, he says "Why won't you admit you hate me?"
*insert total system freeze, excluding eyes which will succumb to rabid blinking*
Me: "What?!"
Now, I'm gonna skip over all the boring stuff (like there ever really is a boring second between the pair of us) and boil it all down. Basically, he said he needs me to hate him because he doesn't think he can stand to bury his last remaining friend (i.e. me). Happy little thought, non?
To which I respond: "Hold up! You want me to HATE you, so you can stand to bury me? Wow, it's good to know that all these years of friendship can be negated by the simple act of me hating you. I'm so glad we got that all cleared up. Right, well, if I get really sick and am laying on my deathbed, I'll be sure to tell you I hate you." All said with thick sarcasm and a good dose of humor, topped with a smirk.
Eye-Patch: *kinda bugeyed but grinning* "That's not what I said!"
Me: *crossing arms over chest, leans back in chair* "Ya know, I think I'm gonna out-live you, just out of spite."
E-P: "But that's not what I said!!"
Me: "So glad our friendship boils down to that. And who's to say I'm gonna die first, Mr. Pessimistic?"
E-P: "...I'm not pessimistic."
Me: "Out-living out of spite. And I'm not gonna bury you. I'm gonna donate your body to science. Let the medical students poke and prode at your cadaver. Yeeeeaaaaars of amusement."
E-P: ".......okay........I was already gonna donate my body to science. You'd be the only on left to donate it anyway, everyone else gonna be dead."

yeah.....we're not right in our minds. I mean, come on, our synapsises' are always screaming.
Me: -_-; "Pessimist."
E-P: "You're just jealous because I know where I stand in the great scheme of things....did I same great. I meant grand."